Mosquitoes and Chocolate

Tequila Tuesday, ended up being buzzkill. First experience at an Asian club with a non ex-pat vibe (aka everyone there was Asian) left a fruity/putrid taste in my mouth, and no I didn't eat a durian. Highlight of the night: complimentary kettle korn. Low point: pissing off the towel guy by not tipping him for turning on my faucet in the restroom.

It was so eventful though..really. Zapatas, a Mexican bar had their Mile High Club Tuesday night..open bar for airline crew.. and I thought they were kidding...until they asked to see my airline card. WHAT?! Old pilot men and young stewardesses do not make for the prettiest sight (as far as female empowerment goes). Father complexes really piss me off, but let's move on.

There was instead a special deal for us non-fliers. 10 Tequila shots for 100. Wowwweee. Let's just say Jose..does not go down as smooth as I thought it would..with dry limes.

So as we moved to MT Club which was sketch to the max, we skipped nonchalantly passed dark alleyways, where 50 year old expats could be lurking ready to take our cab money (we met one at Zapatas). I took a jug of mixed JD (I think?) and poured myself a glass. Watched an equivalent of a striptease, and made off for the little girls room...only to find...

YES, the dreaded, hole in the floor squatters. If that wasn't bad enough, there was a gooey pink substance clogging the porcelain ditch..ew it can't be...but it is. Next revelation. No toilet paper. Perfect.

Escaping the nastiness, I see fresh water awaiting me. A sink bowl, immaculate...I move towards it, a gruff, pimp-looking man walks up to me with a towel. He moves to the sink and turns on the water for me. How kind of him. He then offers me a towel. "Okay..I guess, I can really wipe my own hands though". Then he motions at the table where there's a dollar sign embedded in the marble. "F U" I think to myself. And I walk away apologizing that I didn't bring enough money. And he graciously lets me go. Fearfully, I run into the crowd. Then, I remember, my friend's still in the bathroom. As soon as he comes out, I warn him "Don't let him wipe you!" The Wiper Man pushes him towards the sink in a kind of deja vu, out of body experience all rolled into one. And as I'm shouting advice and stepping in to release my confused friend from the man's grasp, he looms behind me, and shouts "You didn't pay anything! You can't tell your friend what to do! I do this for a living! How do you expect me to make money!"

If I didn't have that 5th Jose, I would've snapped. Thank God, I've learned the art of forgive and forget, even with a little assistance.

Not much to say after that. I tried to weasel some JD from busy bartender playing 10 fingers with a dreadlocked munchkin. Grr, they caught me. Awkwardly I turned the other direction as if it was a joke. Awkwardness ensued. We watched pale, shiny "hookerhoes" dance like technobots on crack. Some getting yelled at for not making a reservation but sitting down. Some "Oh my God" it's a bunch of white guys.."Oh nevermind they've found the white girls."

It was a rollercoaster ride of mediocrity and really low lows. But all in all, memorable.

Oh ya. About the title.

I have 3 mosquito bites from today and yesterday combined.
I just ate a piece of Belgium chocolate.
Dear Life,...we're even.