Asian InvAsian

This has literally been the most played song on my playlist for the past week. Kinda weird, cuz its more of a club song than for karaoke-ing.."girls, girls, girls"...um stripper club? But his milky-bright voice (OKKKKAY..my adjectives are a little off today..use your senses..) is hypnotizing...especially in his UNBROKEN English!! He must've recorded each word separately or something...He sounds..almost...ebonic. LOL. At this pace, unlike Rain and Boa, I think he just might avoid embarrassing himself during interviews.

I hope Se7en's U.S. debut will be better thought out than Boa's though. SM must have paid a buttload to get that hideous song "Eat You Up" into the KIIS FM Jingleball lineup.

What is this?! "I'll eat you up..so yum yum"...ew..way to give Asians a bad name. We are NOT cannibals.

Hahaha..anyway..

Bite-sized update for y'all:
My hair is a few shades darker!, a "cherry chocolate" color according to Garnier.
I have 2 more finals tomorrow... :( I'm freaking out while everyone else is romping about, going out, and leaving me home to wither into my textbooks.

:(

BUUUUUTT...there is a light at the end of the tunnel! I'm leaving for Hawaii on Saturday! Can't wait to try new outrageous things..like snorkeling..lol..my lack of outdoorsy-ness is revealed at last.

Can't wait to share the fruits of my labor, aka souvenirs,when I get back in a week!

Happy Finals to ALL!

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Smallness

Some recent developments (this is what happens when you spend your nights scouring the web for "Baby Einstein" music for your 4 month old cousin and Pavarotti's Best Of Collection for your Grandpa. After listening to them, I can now belt Caruso in my sleep).

I've made an astounding revelation..

Life in LA, well at my school at least, runs pretty much parallel to life in China. There are so many Asians. For all you non-Asians, take a walk in my shoes please. You feel so small, and part of something so massive, that you're squeezing your face through cracks in the crowds for a breath of fresh air. You feel so unoriginal, so fake, so unmotivated to stand out, cuz anything that you want to do, has been done, and everything you want to get, has been gotten. When I leave a home (that's what I call a place I've adapted to with people I care dearly about), it seems like the only thing to do is fear for the transition into a different reality, and make unfair comparisons.

Every time I take a break for the summer, I have to reevaluate life. It's just natural for me, to separate myself from the social me, and just find myself again. Sometimes I get so lost trying to be what others want me to be, I forget how great it was just to be who I was all along.

It's so cliche, I know. But I just wanted it be out there. I'm not just another girl. I feel degraded when people stare at me like a piece of meat, (not flattered or "so hot" like the Wonder Girls). No, that's not me. I'm not just another Asian who's good at math.

1. First of all, I'm Asian, I look, speak, and listen to Chinese, I was raised Canadian, but if it's not my daily way of life, don't go around talking about my culture, or heritage, or ancestors as if you're in my effing boat. I don't ask you why you have a mole in your armpit, don't ask me why I have freckles, I just do. So suck it. I'll gladly discuss more pertinent information than my skin color...like cars for example..I love Bugattis.
2. Second, I hate math, I suck at it, I've only loved three things with all my heart in my life: music, biology (just ask my family of doctors), and writing. And currently I'm not making the most of any of my talents or passions. I'm not stick-skinny. I won't ever be, I hope to God. From my grandma, I've learned being healthy trumps all. You can't be happy if you're not healthy.
   

I'm not just who I appear. I'm so much more. But it's a shame, you don't take the time to look twice, and see past the pained grin and forced giggle.

I often think about failure before I even make a plan of action. The neurotic perfectionist inside of me has stopped me from doing so many things that would have I been successful at, and as a child I wasn't this scared. Growing up has not only humbled me, it's debilitated me, making me second guess everything. And I think it's time I've let go...and be 10 again.

On my nice 14 hour flight back to LA, these are things I'm not going to think about, talk about, or dream about. I'm just going to live it. Cuz pulling another Grey's quote out of my @$$.."life's not supposed to be this hard."

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Mosquitoes and Chocolate

Tequila Tuesday, ended up being buzzkill. First experience at an Asian club with a non ex-pat vibe (aka everyone there was Asian) left a fruity/putrid taste in my mouth, and no I didn't eat a durian. Highlight of the night: complimentary kettle korn. Low point: pissing off the towel guy by not tipping him for turning on my faucet in the restroom.

It was so eventful though..really. Zapatas, a Mexican bar had their Mile High Club Tuesday night..open bar for airline crew.. and I thought they were kidding...until they asked to see my airline card. WHAT?! Old pilot men and young stewardesses do not make for the prettiest sight (as far as female empowerment goes). Father complexes really piss me off, but let's move on.

There was instead a special deal for us non-fliers. 10 Tequila shots for 100. Wowwweee. Let's just say Jose..does not go down as smooth as I thought it would..with dry limes.

So as we moved to MT Club which was sketch to the max, we skipped nonchalantly passed dark alleyways, where 50 year old expats could be lurking ready to take our cab money (we met one at Zapatas). I took a jug of mixed JD (I think?) and poured myself a glass. Watched an equivalent of a striptease, and made off for the little girls room...only to find...

YES, the dreaded, hole in the floor squatters. If that wasn't bad enough, there was a gooey pink substance clogging the porcelain ditch..ew it can't be...but it is. Next revelation. No toilet paper. Perfect.

Escaping the nastiness, I see fresh water awaiting me. A sink bowl, immaculate...I move towards it, a gruff, pimp-looking man walks up to me with a towel. He moves to the sink and turns on the water for me. How kind of him. He then offers me a towel. "Okay..I guess, I can really wipe my own hands though". Then he motions at the table where there's a dollar sign embedded in the marble. "F U" I think to myself. And I walk away apologizing that I didn't bring enough money. And he graciously lets me go. Fearfully, I run into the crowd. Then, I remember, my friend's still in the bathroom. As soon as he comes out, I warn him "Don't let him wipe you!" The Wiper Man pushes him towards the sink in a kind of deja vu, out of body experience all rolled into one. And as I'm shouting advice and stepping in to release my confused friend from the man's grasp, he looms behind me, and shouts "You didn't pay anything! You can't tell your friend what to do! I do this for a living! How do you expect me to make money!"

If I didn't have that 5th Jose, I would've snapped. Thank God, I've learned the art of forgive and forget, even with a little assistance.

Not much to say after that. I tried to weasel some JD from busy bartender playing 10 fingers with a dreadlocked munchkin. Grr, they caught me. Awkwardly I turned the other direction as if it was a joke. Awkwardness ensued. We watched pale, shiny "hookerhoes" dance like technobots on crack. Some getting yelled at for not making a reservation but sitting down. Some "Oh my God" it's a bunch of white guys.."Oh nevermind they've found the white girls."

It was a rollercoaster ride of mediocrity and really low lows. But all in all, memorable.

Oh ya. About the title.

I have 3 mosquito bites from today and yesterday combined.
I just ate a piece of Belgium chocolate.
Dear Life,...we're even.

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