Asian InvAsian

This has literally been the most played song on my playlist for the past week. Kinda weird, cuz its more of a club song than for karaoke-ing.."girls, girls, girls"...um stripper club? But his milky-bright voice (OKKKKAY..my adjectives are a little off today..use your senses..) is hypnotizing...especially in his UNBROKEN English!! He must've recorded each word separately or something...He sounds..almost...ebonic. LOL. At this pace, unlike Rain and Boa, I think he just might avoid embarrassing himself during interviews.

I hope Se7en's U.S. debut will be better thought out than Boa's though. SM must have paid a buttload to get that hideous song "Eat You Up" into the KIIS FM Jingleball lineup.

What is this?! "I'll eat you up..so yum yum"...ew..way to give Asians a bad name. We are NOT cannibals.

Hahaha..anyway..

Bite-sized update for y'all:
My hair is a few shades darker!, a "cherry chocolate" color according to Garnier.
I have 2 more finals tomorrow... :( I'm freaking out while everyone else is romping about, going out, and leaving me home to wither into my textbooks.

:(

BUUUUUTT...there is a light at the end of the tunnel! I'm leaving for Hawaii on Saturday! Can't wait to try new outrageous things..like snorkeling..lol..my lack of outdoorsy-ness is revealed at last.

Can't wait to share the fruits of my labor, aka souvenirs,when I get back in a week!

Happy Finals to ALL!

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Sometimes I feel like I AM Bridget Jones

I don't know if it's the recent ugliness explosion of my epidermis, but I am on a skincare rampage due to an insurmountable inferiority complex that can only be quelled by purchasing every gimmicky quick-fix at Sephora, plus the Laneige regimen system, some 15 different kinds of BB creams, and more. But..my shopping spree must finally come to a screeching halt. What am I doing--spending money I don't have?

In light of this unpalatable glimpse of poverty, I've begun a job hunt. Now, what kind of torture I am up for THIS time..

Stapling? Copying? Filing? Oh Joy!
No..maybe I'll sell my body on the street.

But wait, prostitution is never the answer. Instead, I can follow the footsteps of one of my good high school friends that I caught up with yesterday. In her free time, she makes jewelry, and aspires to start a bakery. That's it! I'll sit by the garbage can in front of the 7-eleven, beading little strands of thread and plier-ing microscopic metal coils together. I could definitely be Paris Hilton's new best friend. Ugh.

So I've decided I'm in the mood the learn "mixology", the fine art of mixing alcoholic beverages..aka bartending. And now, I will be a whopping 2 steps short of prostitution. But then again, as a good salesperson told me, every encounter is a form of prostitution and you don't need to take off your clothes to self yourself. Who was that again? Some chick on a street corner...

I'm bitter. It's the dry skin. Or the 4 a.m. bipolarity?? I hope its curable..then again..who's around to see it? Back to blabbering...

I NEEEEED A VACATIONNNN...STRESSSS IS TAKINGGG OVERRR MY LIFEEE..

Sometimes, people ask me "Why don't you have a boyfriend?"
Then I say "I don't know? I'm too busy?"

But the correct answer should be "I WISH! I want my Prince Charming to save me from myself..but at the same time I know I need to figure out my own life before I let someone get involved in this mess."

If this post is making you dizzy. Please stop. Compose yourself. Take a coffee break. Return with some fun insights. Ok, moving on.

I just watched the movie Get Smart with Steve Carell. It was surprisingly hysterical. While I heard the faint grunts and snores of the other 7 people in the room, I was too busy being possessed by Carell's sheepish, awkward charm. Ahhh.

Wow..this has got to be the first good movie I've seen in ages. Last movie: The one with 4 women?? It was so bad I don't even know the name of it. Oh yeah, it was called The Women (had to take a trip to imdb).

Anyway, while unsuccessfully trying to describe my favorite plot lines to my mother in broken Mandarin, (Wheeew that was a lot of prepositional phrases) I decided "Well, suck it, I'll just compile a list of my favorite movies for your future viewing pleasure mother, and save both of us the pain of trying to describe/decipher "concubines" and "love affairs" in my limited Chinese vocabulary. Ew, language barriers and generation gaps do NOT go together.

So here it is...a list, painstakingly compiled while backing up my hard drive onto my new Simpletech portable HD! (YAYAYAY, haha yea i know..nerd):

WATCHED & AMAZING
match point**
scoop
penelope
becoming jane**
amelie**
50 first dates
juno
the other bolelyn girl
the prestige
the illusionist
lost in translation
atonement**
love actually
a cinderella man
ever after
lars and the real girl**
enchanted
waitress
bobby

TO BE WATCHED IN THE NEAR FUTURE:
the diving bell and the butterfly
the jane austen book club
the kite runner
girl with a pearl earring
the duchess
stardust
emma 1996
charlie wilson's war
michael clayton
august rush
gone baby gone
PS I love you
pride and prejudice 2005
once
memento
the dark knight
ironman
the office season 1-4
pushing daisies 1
across the universe
entourage 1
tropic thunder
chronicles prince caspian
the namesake
sicko
persepolis
volver
dejavu
apocalypto
little children
half nelson
miss potter
mr brooks
the queen
the painted veil
roger and me
bowling for columbine
the big one
reign over me (adam sandler)
death at a funeral**
in bruges
into the wild
la vie en rose

OLD ONES: (#for watched), (@for need to get)
the lady eve#
the awful truth#
the philadelphia story#
bringing up baby#
his girl friday#
sleepless in seattle@
when harry met sally@
bridget jones' diary@
roman holiday@
motorcycle diaries@
y tu mama tambien@

Why the random list, you may wonder? Just cuz. Maybe you'll find it useful for your trips to Blockbuster or Piratebay. Thanks for stopping by, and if you have any miracle cures for my disfiguring "situation" please drop a line or a comment. :)

-signed, "decidedly dumber after watching get smart"

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You're a Walking, Talking Contradiction

Thanks for tuning in to another episode of "Little Orphan Annie Finds Her Way Home."

But unfortunately, we aren't airing our regular joe-schmo slapstick. Instead, I will entertain you with some fortune cookie wisdom that even Panda Express would be jealous of:

Some developments of the past 3 days:

Why is facebook the first thing I go to when I have to write an essay?
Confucius say: You fricking rebel. Do ya thang, and remember "What Would Kels Do?"

British accents make you sound smarter. "Hwatt-eh-vah"

Conjunctival hemorrhages are a beautiful thing. Vulnerability forces you find your real strength.

Life would not be worth living if you don't continue learning everyday.

Time heals all wounds. But scars never fade. *for some reason this came to mind, and I thought of Justin-Bobby. Oh Hills, how I missed the way you rotted my mind with useless, artificial thoughts.

Now....Global Studies. Go DO yourself.

Status on parentals: Negative, I would go as far as to say it has flatlined. My grandpa that I talk to once a week and lives light years away feels like more of a parental figure than both of my biological immediates combined. That's saying something. Love you grampa, you are my hero. (If you were listening/reading, I would tell you): no one else has ever believed in me as much as you have, trusted me as much as you have, and made me want to make the world a better place as much as you have already done for me.

Mother, there is nothing I want to say to you in person. You have already broken my heart, broken my spirit, and there's nothing that can bring that part of me back. The past few weeks have felt like a vacuous blur, with little to laugh, cry, think about because of how cheated I have felt. But I am an adult, I don't need you, and I don't think I ever will again. I will never be to my children what you were to me, a knife in the back, a slap on the face, a negativity that would have suffocated me to death if not for this "new freedom" you have bestowed upon me. You have been a wonderful anti-role model. And for that, I thank you.

xoxo,
Gossip Girl (or rather, Honest Girl)

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Last post

End of the day feelings:

• 2 Political Science classes 10-5PM.
• Feeling fat after compulsively eating everything in the school vendor area for dinner. Name it, I probably ate it.
  
• At 8 PM my final review finally ended, concluding my neverending day, and the result of the review was stressing out even more about my test.
  
• Gym for major calorie burning -- 1000 to be exact -- and shifting my concentration onto something mindless for a change.
  
• Ralphs for food, and thus more compulsive stress eating (2nd red velvet cake this week, A RECORD!, and Lunchables). And I'm back to feeling fat.
  
• Now ready to partake in OPERATION "Make my professor not hate my writing style." It's not about how much you can bring to the table with your words and opinions, but rather, how well you're able to write what the professor..aka Dr. Right, wants to hear. I'm a people-pleaser. I can do it, but do I want to do it? Not particularly. I want to eat and think about life like a normal emo person and buy a weighted piano keyboard so I can play that new Shinee song. This process would be much more rewarding. After a nice sightread, I would no longer be emo, and more fangirl-y than ever. Instant Prozac. I hate being emo, it's like the bipolar side that I want to beat up and put in a straightjacket...efffin A. My roomate is talking on the phone, while I'm pretending to study. WHAT THE HECK. Rude. And now my eye itches. I'm gonna put some EVOO on it now, Goodbye.
  

For more blabber, take the jump at the link below.

I'm going on a break from blogging with finals coming up and two recruitments looming closer and closer. If ever I needed a break, it's now. I had a nice long talk with one of my best friends today, it reassured me of my humanity that I am not superwoman, so I shouldn't put a world of expectation on myself but I need to be stronger and voice my opinions instead of bottling them up. These thoughts are wasted energy and creativity, suffocating under my skin. I feel my lungs slowly constrain with every breath that I don't let out, and often I feel an invisible mountain crashing down on me when I see the aftermath of my inaction. Often I can wholeheartedly relate to that homeless woman sitting on the corner of the street that I see everyday. And I pass her, wanting so much to sit down next to her and share in her misery, rather than feeling it alone.

So, goodbye, blog. I'm going on a little break. Writing my thoughts down has been rather counterproductive, because I usually just spit out my negative thoughts and discard them, but this has been a chewed up piece of gum that remains stuck to my shoe. And I'm faced with all my fears, instead of carelessly putting it out of mind. Once I begin class, become overloaded with incalculable stress, and regain my normalcy, I might come back for a rant or two. Until then,
Sayonara.
Arrivederci.
Annyeong :)

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COLLEGE FINALS

Tests are a fact of life. But preparing for 2 essay questions is asking for mental suicide.

So I bought a peppermint plant from Ralph's last night. Peppermint is supposed to calm the nerves and ward off bugs (which are swarming my apartment like an anthrax explosion).

I don't know whether to water it or not. It didn't come with instructions. I have a feeling it won't live to see me get my finals back. But I do hope it'll help me concentrate, freak out less, and ace those 2 finals. These days, knowledge and writing ability won't get you anywhere, but kissing up to the professor and regurgitation (aka plagiarism of the Professor's words) will. So I must do the latter. Come on, I really want that A...

Anyway, I'm still soul searching...looking for a job prospect, or internship that really excites me for once. Being pre-med isn't supposed to be fun, but aren't there any tiny perks along the way???

I guess not. I've decided, the secret to success is to FAKE IT TIL YOU MAKE IT, as a little birdie, aka some pompous CEO of some international corporation, told me once.

FAKING IT IS SO HARD. But until I look the part, I might as well start faking the "fake" part. Ew verbosity.

And the Academy Award goes to...

UPDATE:

I'm planning on seeing a psychic. Any sort of positive brainwashing I can get, I'll take. I don't have religion to help me cope. Sadly, I've never believed in Santa, and it's even less likely I could trust a deity to bring me hope. Positive affirmations help, but they're much too flimsy to stand up to the taunts and judgments of the masses. Without even the slightest superficial support of my parents, I am a tiny boat lost at sea. So little by little, I'm trying to stay afloat, remember my destination, and do it with a big cheesy smile....without resorting to becoming heavily medicated.

CORRECTION:

THIS POST IS NOT A REFLECTION OF ME. IT IS THE INTERNAL MONSTER SURFACING. DANGER. BACK AWAY NOW. COME BACK WHEN I'M IN A BETTER MOOD...AKA WHEN AUNT FLO LEAVES.

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